Surprise, surprise...

Another predictable me quiz...
"Calm down, you're an overreactor!

You're an Overreacter. Putting you in the ranks of professional worriers everywhere, your stress style makes for a rather dramatic life. You tend to imagine worst-case scenarios whenever possible — in some way, picturing the most severe outcome even feels comforting.

But while feeling stressed before problems occur gives you a sense of control, it can also be exhausting (not to mention time-consuming). Reacting sharply to stress may also make you prone to angry (even violent) outbursts. Reining in your knee-jerk reactions could help you get this tendency under control and make you a less unpredictable person to be around in times of trouble. So, relax a bit... we promise the sky won't fall if you stop holding it up!"

Update

Saw the Doctor today, and she says that I have made amazing progress in the last couple of weeks, helped a lot, she thinks, by the fact that my pills have now really started to kick in and do their stuff. I told her that what I really wanted to do was to get back home to Bristol, and that I thought if I went now without the pressure of lectures or any obligation of that sort it might be a way of easing myself back into things. Showing that scary kind of insight that people who've known you for ages seem to have, she agreed that this would be good as I have this tendency to compartmentalise things and to take these sort of logical steps would probably work for me; while I'm there I can also see about looking into going back after Christmas, and meeting up with my Uni mates outside lectures.

Sounds like I'm pretty much fine doesn't it? I hope this lasts, but in order not to throw myself into the deep end too dramatically, I am going to stay with my Nan for a bit, and see my wonderful, life saving family. Partially because I want to see everyone, partly as it will be a nice mid-point between being away from home and being totally on my own. A big reason though is that my Nan has not been at all well, and I want to go and take my turn in looking after her for a change.

Wow, I can't half waffle can't I?

'Scuse me while I just go and hide in a corner somewhere and wish it would all be over, to save having to live everyday trying to convince myself and everyone else around that I'm getting better and feeling more positive. At least I have convinced myself that I can live with it, thanks to everyone who helped drum that into me.

Damnation

There was me thinking that things were looking up...

Yesterday and Monday I did manage the whole going out thing, but it made me feel really sick; today I stayed in bed until one and would have stayed longer if I hadn't heard the call of nature and then forced myself to get up. I felt truly shite, and to top it all, when I did get up I discovered that my Nan (who was with us for a few days when she came back from holidaying with her brother in Jersey) had given me her cold. Not happy.

On the plus side, my cousin eM should by now have the keys to her new house ready to move in tomorrow. She's not feeling too well either though, so here's an official 'Get Well Soon' from me.

Music

I have been scared to listen to music for ages; I haven't even listened to Sounds of the Sixties, my favourite show. Today, though, Harry showed me this great website where I can create a playlist and add it to my blog, so we had a bit of a music fest. You will find the MP3 player at the bottom of my blog, and you may notice the subtle connection in the vague themes (or my interpretation of those themes) of each song. Plus let me know what you think about the two versions of New England, which do you prefer?

N.B. eM and Ben, Barenaked Ladies is especially for you, hope you like it.
Martin, Katie Melua's for you.

Update

I've been to the doctor's and been certified for four weeks, which takes me up to the Christmas holidays. I saw a different doctor at the practice, who said that Dr *******, while being a good doctor is probably not the best at dealing with the mental health side of things; like I hadn't noticed. So I'm still taking the drugs, with some new ones on top (for Gastritis, yay), and other avenues are being explored for me. Next check a week on Monday, until then I am still kinda in a state of confused flux. On the upside however, I did manage to get out of the house, and felt confident enough to stay out long enough to visit my aunt; every cloud and all that. Hopefully I can keep up this whole confidence building thingand do something productive: I have plans for things that I could do at home, and if things work out okay, I want to help my Nan with her decorations etc. and my cousin with the redecoration of her NEW HOUSE (My cousin's getting her own house, how uber cool is that?)!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That's all folks

Nerds Ahoy!

So I found this on Harry's site and discovered I am as predictable as I thought. I don't know whether this makes me proud or makes me feel like total shite.

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Science/Math Nerd   (Absolute Insane Laughter as you pour toxic chemicals into a foaming tub of death!) Well, maybe you aren't this extreme, but you're in league with the crazy scientists/mathmeticians of today. Very few people have the talent of math and science is something takes a lot of brains as well. Thank whosever God you worship, or don't worship, so thank no deity whatsoever in your case, for you people! Most of us would have died off without your help.
Literature Nerd
Musician
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Social Nerd
Drama Nerd
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

Arr, pirates

So I've done another test...

Ooh argh! You be an eccentric dandy of a pirate!
Well, aren't ye the charmin' rapscallion? Ye could probably rob someone blind and still leave 'em feeling chuffed that they met you – even if ye made them walk the plank! Whilst ye have one sea weary eye on amassin' a personal treasure trove fit to sink the finest galleon, yer other eye (assuming you're not wearing a patch) is makin' sure you're always seen to be struttin' yer stuff and lookin' mighty fine. Just like Jack Sparrow ye'd never be slow in remindin' people that there should be a 'Captain' afore your name and if ye happen to be more than a little bit eccentric it just adds to yer air of piratey mystique. Ye certainly don't need a parrot or a wooden leg, but we wouldn't be too surprised if ye had a tattoo or two in some interesting places!

http://uk.tickle.com/test/pirate.html

Mood Diary

Date: 10-11-07
Mood: 3
Events/Activities: Watching Star Trek
Emotions/Feelings: Shite, panic, Chest pain

Howdy Folks

Just set up a blog as something to occupy my mind now that I've discovered I can't hack Uni. Don't expect any excitement, just a lot of moaning and self-pity.