Getting a little political...

Just a quick post to pay my respects to Benazir Bhutto. She was probably Pakistan's best hope of a proper democracy, and her death will have so many reprocussions.

Rest in Peace Ms Bhutto.

Blog Photos

Wow, what a loser, I have only just worked out how to get a photo onto a post. This is me trying to be sociable for Christmas. Other images on facebook, and maybe I'll put some more up later.

Also, for some of the more pushy people, there are a couple of photos from the Bristol party, although none with me in; sorry.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=23444&l=e0ce5&id=706423254

(Apparently this is a public link, I don't think you need an account on Facebook to see it)

Titles, grrr, I don't know what to call this

So it has been nearly a week since the party, and no pics. Sorry about that, but unfortunately, they turned out to be pretty shite, and so there will be no photos of the EngMat 1st yr Christmas party. I will make more of an effort next time.

Hope everybody's looking forward to Christmas (or Winterval).

Update

Right, so I saw Alan Champneys, the Head of EngMat, today (cool bloke), and he gave me some more strategies that I could try. He realised that the course is not the problem, and he even thinks that it wouldn't be that hard for me to come back in January.

It looks like my big problem is giving myself some kind of outlet other than work, and that should make things more comfortable. I think that this blog, and some of the other things I have been working seem to be quite a good start, so I seem to be making good progress. I don't even need to worry about paperwork, he said that I can come back in January and that when I'm sure I want to stay, and that I'm doing okay, then we can worry about forms etc.

As part of this attempt to find other things to occupy my time, I am going to the 1st year EngMat Christmas Party tonight; scary or what? I will be helping to set up from about 5 onwards, and I am hoping that if I feel I've been a bit helpful I might feel better about being there.

Feedback on the party will follow, maybe I'll even take pictures.

"The following blog may have offensive content and contain large doses of moaning"

Okay, so it seems I'm destined to hang around for a bit longer, so as promised here comes some moaning; although not so much self pity today.

I am making this an official rant, made all the easier to do by the fact that it is highly unlikely that the people I am ranting about will ever read this. So, here goes:

Certain people in a certain finance department at a certain Uni in Cheltenham completely suck (subtle eh?)!!! My cousin rocks and anyone that thinks or says otherwise is a absolute berk. So many people are failing at irradicating bullying in schools, but at least they are trying; what about bullying in the workplace?

I'm writing this cos I'm not sure what I can do to help and I won't see my cous for a bit, but suffice to say I am not happy with this situation, and as I have certain aggression problems, if anyone involved ever does hear about this, they should think very carefully about their attitude before I come to visit.

Wow, that was quite melodramatic and rambling wasn't it, but I hope people get the jist of what I'm trying to say: My family and friends are all that matter to me and I get seriously pissed off if anything happens to any of them.

Apologies

Sorry folks, apparently my last post looked like a suicide note and some people got a bit worried. It wasn't exactly me deciding to end it, but more a wish that somebody else would end it for me. As it happens I was out of luck and I'm still here. Yesterday I thought things were looking up, but I was wrong again; seeing my friend Maddy was great (she's flippin' awesome), and seeing Mark today was nice, but I had another funny turn while he was here, and now I feel like shit again.

I am uber cold and even sitting against my radiator (which does now work) doesn't seem to be helping, so I have made myself a Baileys and Hot Chocolate, and am going to snuggle up and watch Hot Fuzz again. If there is any justice (which I doubt there is) this will be the last post I write as my troubles and I will disappear in my sleep. If this doesn't happen I expect I will just be clogging up the web with more moaning and self pity; if there was anyone reading this, I suggest you give up now while you still hold dear any semblance of life.

Every silver lining has cloud

Damn!!

It just gets worse doesn't it?

I am now telling the world to get stuffed, I'm going to bed and I hope that I never get up again, eternal darkness is highly desired right now.

Thanks again everyone, and it's not anyone elses fault but mine, you've all been great and I'm sorry that I couldn't live up to everyone's faith in me, I just don't have what it takes I guess.

Seeya

Brizzle

As the Title suggests, I am now back home in Bristol, and I have the internet, woohoo!

I feel kinda nervy, but I really want to give this a go, and I have the added comfort of being more in touch with people now that I am online. I also feel a bit better knowing that I have my cousin Benji's Christmas present, and have had some ideas for some other people.

Now that I'm here I don't really know what to do, probably not much until tomorrow, although I do need to tidy up; when I popped in on my way to my Nan's from London, I just dumped a load of stuff on the floor, and it's driving me nuts!

Update soon, but for now a big thank you to everyone who supported me to get this far.