I don't want to go back on anti-depressants again.
The problem is that it's looking increasingly likely that I will soon be in a position where I essentially have no choice. (I know, we always have a choice, but external pressure is a bigger thing than you'd think, as is the shadow of suicide, hence the "essentially" modifier.) I want to stave this off for as long as I can. Luckily, my doctor is almost impossible to get an appointment with, so that helps.
If I want to get anything done I'm going to need to reimpose some semblance of structure into life. I am not functioning at anything even approaching optimal, in fact there seems to be far less than 50% operational efficiency, and I know that lack of structure and routine clouds my mind. Therefore, reinstating this would seem to be a logical thing to prioritise. If my hypothesis is correct, it should at least mitigate, to some extent, the debilitation I currently seem to be experiencing. So, not so much new plan as reinvented old one.
A theoretically public forum may be expected to produce a sense of obligation to maintain standards set, and thus I have chosen this blog as one of the starting points for this regime shift. I will attempt, in particular, to begin using a Word of the Week type premise again, in order to have something in my new routine which is not work related but may be subjected to analysis and is a compatible activity with the need for timetabling.
Any other suggestions, besides "pull yourself together" (or equivalent), would be gratefully received and taken into consideration.
2 comments:
One of the best things, in my opinion, to keep in mind is to break down problems into smaller chunks. If something seems too big to tackle there will always be smaller steps on the way that can be accomplished.
Climbing Mount Everest for instance seems to be an impossible task. But in order to get to the top you have to get to base camp one first. Once that is done you acclimatize and then ascend to base camp two. And so on. And with every stop in between, the distance to the top will shorten and it becomes more and more reachable.
Another good thing about accomplishing small chunks is that they give you a sense of accomplishment and that will positively influence how you think about the whole thing.
I once heard the saying that for getting from 0 to 100 the most difficult step is from 0 to 1, because you have to overcome the inertia. The rest is easy.
Thanks Florian, that's certainly something I'm working on.
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