New Year Blues

I don't really have the time to write this - to much Uni work still to do. However, I've just had a panic attack and am trying to stave off the next one.

I'm aware that people in the past have permanently stopped reading my blog because of posts like this, and I'm quite happy for you to stop doing so too, although my only query would be 'why are you here in the first place?' This site was originally set up, as a part of my therapy, as a place where I could let rip in a way that I never could in person or in a diary. So, posts like this basically fulfil that remit, and if you don't like it, you are quite welcome to leave or silently curse me, but please don't post comments about how I should pull myself together/stop whining/get on with it etc. because doing this in this limited arena is aimed at helping me do just that in the real world.

Frankly, I don't care if no one reads my blog, for me it's all about the potential for anonymity, and although I am quite often really personal, this feels somewhat more detached. On here I can focus on my grammar and spelling, and the blog layout. It is precisely that focus - which I cannot achieve in conversation, that helps me to lessen the effects of a panic attack.

Of course, if you are reading this, then welcome and thank you very much. I am not completely anti-readers - on the internet that would be pretty stupid - it's only ignorant people that I don't like, but then I'm sure you're not. I'm also not anti-comments, and if you have some advice, some (constructive) criticism of myself or my blog, or just generally want to say hi, then I'd love to hear from you.

I had meant to do a bumper edition of ... of the Week this week, to make up for the silence over Christmas, but this will have to wait, as I really should be getting on with my coursework. I am very stressed, and this has probably contributed to the panic attack, not helped at all by finding out that I failed the last piece of (easier) coursework for this unit. I'm in a bit of a low state in general right now, and next week I think I might talk to my tutor about leaving/taking some time off, but I have two deadlines before that and so I'd better get on.

If you've made it this far, thank you and congratulations. Your prize is the answers to my Christmas Tree quiz, and my Word of the Week: Trepidation.