Like Indigo Finds Edgy Foals Under Cover, Kangaroos Incessantly Need Green Sustaining Umbrellas Coating Koala Skin.
I Wonder If Songs Harbour In Terror Wise Oblongs Undulating Limpid Discrepencies ALL Embedded 'Neath Dixieland.
Monday, 11 February 2008
Crunch Time
Today we got our programming assessment outlines for which we must write a suitable programme in two weeks; arrghh!
Part of me is quite psyked about this, as the second of the two options is about lexicographical analysis, which to me sounds great, but at the same time it does involve using the knowledge gained over the entirety of the course; about 11 weeks worth of work, and try as I may, I'm still only on the cusp of weeks 7 and 8. Therefore while part of me is looking forward to the challenge, another, greater, part of me is cacking myself that I won't be able to do it.
I know that this has to be my own work, and that no one can do it for me, but any feeling of support would not go unappreciated, I'm very worried about coming out of this looking a total arse. I hope the links I've put up will work, and if anybody feels like looking at my project options (for a laugh or to guage just how much sympathy I deserve), feel free to take a look.
http://www.enm.bris.ac.uk/staff/pjn/EMAT10920/project1.pdf
http://www.enm.bris.ac.uk/staff/pjn/EMAT10920/project2.pdf
Part of me is quite psyked about this, as the second of the two options is about lexicographical analysis, which to me sounds great, but at the same time it does involve using the knowledge gained over the entirety of the course; about 11 weeks worth of work, and try as I may, I'm still only on the cusp of weeks 7 and 8. Therefore while part of me is looking forward to the challenge, another, greater, part of me is cacking myself that I won't be able to do it.
I know that this has to be my own work, and that no one can do it for me, but any feeling of support would not go unappreciated, I'm very worried about coming out of this looking a total arse. I hope the links I've put up will work, and if anybody feels like looking at my project options (for a laugh or to guage just how much sympathy I deserve), feel free to take a look.
http://www.enm.bris.ac.uk/staff/pjn/EMAT10920/project1.pdf
http://www.enm.bris.ac.uk/staff/pjn/EMAT10920/project2.pdf
Thursday, 31 January 2008
2 Weeks
So I've reached the end of two full weeks, where I made myself attend everything I was supposed to without being too ill to go in or anything. A sad thing to be so momentus that it requires a blog post, but there you go, it's the extent of excitement in my life.
On the other hand, by the start of next week, I will have done two semi-social things: On Wednesday I went to see Sweeney Todd with my mate Maddy (see credits above)- seriously fun film, really good; and on Sunday I'm going to lunch with my brother Mark- should be fun (note to self, get a bottle of plonk).
I did have something else to say, but can't for the life of me think what it was, so I guess that's it for now.
Saturday, 19 January 2008
Thursday, 17 January 2008
Only Slightly Worried
Howdy.
So I've been a bit ill lately (more than usual), and it has made me think about some stuff. I have discovered that although I'm not now panicing that I will fail and not be able to handle life, that I have gone to the complete other extreme, and now don't really give a toss one way or the other. Every time I think to myself 'I should do some work' another, bigger part of me says 'stuff it, I don't want to'. The problem is that it's not like I'm distracting myself in a big way with anything else, most of the time I just want to curl up in bed and disappear, because that would save having to face anything. I think I'm just being lazy, but I can't kick myself out of it; it's not specifically that I can't be bothered, I just don't want to.
On the plus side when I was thinking about my counselling session (I'm giving it a go), and planning various methods of suicide again, I realised just why it is that I'm still alive, which also helped me my write my epitaph for when I do go:
'A Burden to others; God's test of the patience and kindness of those around her.'
Good eh, I've finally worked out that I don't really have a purpose to fulfill of my own, but that I'm here as part of other people's purposes to highlight their goodness; sort of like the preverbial Albatross to everyone else's Ancient Mariner.
So to sum up; my working life is shite and I'm not sure how to remedy it, but at least I know now why it is I have to put up with it.
So I've been a bit ill lately (more than usual), and it has made me think about some stuff. I have discovered that although I'm not now panicing that I will fail and not be able to handle life, that I have gone to the complete other extreme, and now don't really give a toss one way or the other. Every time I think to myself 'I should do some work' another, bigger part of me says 'stuff it, I don't want to'. The problem is that it's not like I'm distracting myself in a big way with anything else, most of the time I just want to curl up in bed and disappear, because that would save having to face anything. I think I'm just being lazy, but I can't kick myself out of it; it's not specifically that I can't be bothered, I just don't want to.
On the plus side when I was thinking about my counselling session (I'm giving it a go), and planning various methods of suicide again, I realised just why it is that I'm still alive, which also helped me my write my epitaph for when I do go:
'A Burden to others; God's test of the patience and kindness of those around her.'
Good eh, I've finally worked out that I don't really have a purpose to fulfill of my own, but that I'm here as part of other people's purposes to highlight their goodness; sort of like the preverbial Albatross to everyone else's Ancient Mariner.
So to sum up; my working life is shite and I'm not sure how to remedy it, but at least I know now why it is I have to put up with it.
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